The Odds

This whole experience has changed the way I view statistics as they apply to me.

The chances of a healthy, fertile couple conceiving in any given month is 1 in 4. I got pregnant on my second cycle. I beat the odds by a slim margin. How joyous!

The chances of having a miscarriage are thought to be up to 30%. Certainly, the odds of miscarriage in clinically recognized pregnancies is a full 20%. So, I beat the odds again.

The chances of miscarriage after a heartbeat is detected is 10%. Really beat the odds there.

The chances of miscarriage after 12 weeks is less than 2%. I'm one "lucky" gal.

About 4% of women have a Müllerian anomaly (MA). I'm not sure if I can count myself as beating the odds on that one. Really, there's nothing else wrong with me. Sure, I'm a little overweight, I have acne, tendonitis, TMJ, and I'm kind of hypersensitive about certain things. But, I suppose I was bound to have some wacko problem that no one else I know has. The average woman does not have a weird uterus. Hmmph.

Of women who have an MA, most have a septate uterus (SU). Miscarriage rates with SU approach 90%, depending on the size of the septum. The next most common is a bicornuate uterus (BU). Miscarriage rates are lower for BU, more like 40%, but there is an increased risk of preterm labor, and breech positioning.

Will I actually win out and get diagnosed with an SU? Will I, for once, be grouped with a majority for something? That would be nice. 90% miscarriage rate sounds scary, right? But the good news is, most septi can be resected with a simple surgery, bringing the chance of miscarriage back to normal (15-20%). A BU cannot be treated with surgery. Well, it can, but the surgery is very invasive and carries a good chance of leaving the patient infertile anyway due to scarring and all that fun stuff. Do NOT want.

[Of course, if I do have a BU and end up having to get a c-section at 35 weeks in order to have a healthy baby, I will deal with that. I don't feel hopeless, like I'll never have a baby. Several professionals will have to tell me I can't until I'd be ready to give up. ]

It was hard to keep my head about all this for a while. I've sure beat the odds on a lot of things pregnancy-related! Who's to say I won't keep having rare diagnoses, rare problems, and unlikely, sad outcomes?

Despite what's happened to me, I still can't live my life in fear that way. I used to proclaim rather adamantly that it was silly to waste energy worrying about miscarriage since the chances of my baby dying were about the same as ME dying. It doesn't seem nearly so silly now. But that doesn't justify spending all my energy now, worrying about what kind of MA I have. It's out of my hands, and all I have is faith and hope. It will have to work out. And at the tender age of 24, I am blessed with time. Thank you, God!