to [close family memberrs]
date Fri, Jun 12, 2009 at 11:40 AM
subject Passing Milestones
Hello Family!
I'm pleased to report that I'm officially past the point where my last two pregnancies ended. And what's better is that I'm fairly certain I'm still pregnant! Every time I encounter the mild nausea that just doesn't go away, I have to celebrate a little bit. Every time I have to trudge to my bed to lay down because I'm so fatigued I can't think straight, I'm so happy. My dreams get weirder and more vivid every night. Yay!
I still have my moments, however. I actually went several days last week assuming that the baby had passed away. Perhaps I was too distracted by the move to notice my symptoms as much, but my attitudes and beliefs were that we were doomed again, we'd be back at square one in no time and have start all over again... AGAIN. Irrational, perhaps, but it happens. Erich and I eagerly await my next appointment in two weeks, when we might get to hear the heartbeat again. If there's still a heartbeat. See? It's pessimistic and unlikely, but that's how we think. We can't breathe easy till we get the NEXT reassurance. After the next appointment, we will wait for the next ultrasound. Hopefully then we can sit back and breathe a bit easier, but it's too soon to know just how easily we'll be able to breathe.
So just remember, that's why we still don't consider our news public yet. We'd like to be the ones to tell people, and we want to tell people when we're happy and excited and not still scared pooless that something bad is going to happen any minute. You all know, of course, because you are our closest family and can understand how scared we are and are scared with us. We can't do this alone and appreciate your support no matter what the outcome. For some reason, the thought of having the whole world know long before we're out of the murkiness of the first trimester enhances our fear. Thanks to this stupid History, we just have trouble being plain ol' excited like regular people. So please, bear with us, don't assume anyone else knows that we are expecting, and hopefully come January we'll all be able to joyfully greet our son or daughter, grandson or grandaughter, niece or nephew.
Thank you so much for all your love and support!
Love,
Susan (and Erich)
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