Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Preface

I'm getting so close to being ready to post my birth story. Again, it will be in several parts. I'm nothing if not thorough on this blog! But first I have to start with a preface.

I have never agreed with the sentiment: "at least you have a healthy baby" in regards to the manner in which the baby was born. Now that I have been forced into a c-section, it irritates me even more.

The arrival of my daughter into this world was wonderful and amazing. I'm absolutely thrilled to have her on the outside and I wouldn't change a thing about her. The birth? Just thinking about it still makes me bitter, upset, and fearful. Yes, fearful for the future. Because the Birth is not just about the health of the baby. It has implications for me, my health, and the success of any future births. So please keep in mind, I will not abide any comments implying that I should be happy with the birth because my baby is healthy. Or that it could have been worse, so just buck up. I'm allowed to mourn the birth I didn't get to have, and I intend to do so on my very own blog that has always been about grief.

In sum: baby's arrival and birth are two separate entities and my emotions surrounding each are completely separate.

Ugh, sorry for the downer. Happier days are ahead, Internet, I promise. Just bear with me for now.

3 comments:

who said life is fair said...

ugh, my friend could've written this. she has already found a doc that is willing to do a vbac for when she is ready for a 2nd.
i'm sorry you are irritated. you are allowed.

can't wait to read more about the birth.

Rebekah said...

I COMPLETELY understand. I am very sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted; it IS a big deal. But I'll be interested to hear your story, and Baby Lily is beautiful.

anne said...

Aww, I totally understand. While as your sister I'm RELIEVED that you both came through the birth successfully, I'm sad for you that it went the way it did and for the implications that it has for the future.

BTW, I found out that my midwife practice does VBACs.