I'm getting so close to being ready to post my birth story. Again, it will be in several parts. I'm nothing if not thorough on this blog! But first I have to start with a preface.
I have never agreed with the sentiment: "at least you have a healthy baby" in regards to the manner in which the baby was born. Now that I have been forced into a c-section, it irritates me even more.
The arrival of my daughter into this world was wonderful and amazing. I'm absolutely thrilled to have her on the outside and I wouldn't change a thing about her. The birth? Just thinking about it still makes me bitter, upset, and fearful. Yes, fearful for the future. Because the Birth is not just about the health of the baby. It has implications for me, my health, and the success of any future births. So please keep in mind, I will not abide any comments implying that I should be happy with the birth because my baby is healthy. Or that it could have been worse, so just buck up. I'm allowed to mourn the birth I didn't get to have, and I intend to do so on my very own blog that has always been about grief.
In sum: baby's arrival and birth are two separate entities and my emotions surrounding each are completely separate.
Ugh, sorry for the downer. Happier days are ahead, Internet, I promise. Just bear with me for now.
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We are a young couple eager to start a family. 2008 brought a miscarriage, a diagnosis of uterine septum, a septum resection surgery, and another miscarriage. We are now cautiously expecting our firstborn in January, 2010.
Our Timeline
9/22/07 - Married
1/05/08 - BFP
1/22/08 - First appointment
1/24/08 - First u/s for dating. Baby measured 9w1d
2/10/08 - Minor spotting begins
2/13/08 - Emergency u/s reveals no heartbeat. Baby measured 9w0d
2/18/08 - D&C, septum or bicornuate uterus suspected
4/02/08 - First AF after m/c
4/10/08 - HSG shows unicornuate uterus
4/17/08 - Pelvic u/s shows possibly bicornuate uterus
5/13/08 - First appointment with RE
6/23/08 - Hysterosonogram shows uterine septum
6/27/08 - Septum resected
7/11/08 - CD1, TTC resumes
11/13/08 - BFP
12/17/08 - First appointment, all is well
12/19/08 - Diagnosed with low progesterone (8.72 @ 8w4d)
12/22/08 - Miscarriage #2 confirmed: blighted ovum
12/23/08 - D&C
2/18/09 - After 57 days, CD1
4/30/09 - BFP
5/7/09 - Diagnosed with low progesterone (11.2 @ 17DPO), on supplements
5/9/09 - hCG doubling
5/28/09 - First appt & u/s, baby measured 7w1d, heartbeat seen and heard
6/25/09 - Second appt, heartbeat heard
6/28/09 - Off progesterone, all is well
8/15/09 - Big u/s: It's a girl!
9/18/09 - 1-hour glucose screening: FAIL
9/25/09 - 3-hour glucose tolerance: PASS!
12/23/09 - L&D for high BP
1/7/10 - Induced for PIH
1/8/10 - Lily born via c-section
1/05/08 - BFP
1/22/08 - First appointment
1/24/08 - First u/s for dating. Baby measured 9w1d
2/10/08 - Minor spotting begins
2/13/08 - Emergency u/s reveals no heartbeat. Baby measured 9w0d
2/18/08 - D&C, septum or bicornuate uterus suspected
4/02/08 - First AF after m/c
4/10/08 - HSG shows unicornuate uterus
4/17/08 - Pelvic u/s shows possibly bicornuate uterus
5/13/08 - First appointment with RE
6/23/08 - Hysterosonogram shows uterine septum
6/27/08 - Septum resected
7/11/08 - CD1, TTC resumes
11/13/08 - BFP
12/17/08 - First appointment, all is well
12/19/08 - Diagnosed with low progesterone (8.72 @ 8w4d)
12/22/08 - Miscarriage #2 confirmed: blighted ovum
12/23/08 - D&C
2/18/09 - After 57 days, CD1
4/30/09 - BFP
5/7/09 - Diagnosed with low progesterone (11.2 @ 17DPO), on supplements
5/9/09 - hCG doubling
5/28/09 - First appt & u/s, baby measured 7w1d, heartbeat seen and heard
6/25/09 - Second appt, heartbeat heard
6/28/09 - Off progesterone, all is well
8/15/09 - Big u/s: It's a girl!
9/18/09 - 1-hour glucose screening: FAIL
9/25/09 - 3-hour glucose tolerance: PASS!
12/23/09 - L&D for high BP
1/7/10 - Induced for PIH
1/8/10 - Lily born via c-section
Glossary
AF - Aunt Flo (menstruation)
BC - Birth Control
BFN - Big Fat Negative (home pregnancy test result)
BFP - Big Fat Positive (home pregnancy test result)
CD - Cycle Day
D&C - Dilation and Curettage
DH - Dear Husband
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
EDD - Estimated Due Date
HCG - Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
HSC - Hysteroscopy
HSG - Hysterosalpingogram
IC - Incompetent Cervix
IRL - In real life (not online)
LAP - Laparoscopy
LMP - Last Menstrual Period
MA - Müllerian Anomaly
M/C - Miscarriage
PMS - Premenstrual Syndrome
PNV - Prenatal Vitamin
POAS - Pee on a Stick
PTL - Preterm Labor
RE - Reproductive Endocrinologist
TMI - Too Much Information
TTC - Trying to Conceive
U/S - Ultrasound
BC - Birth Control
BFN - Big Fat Negative (home pregnancy test result)
BFP - Big Fat Positive (home pregnancy test result)
CD - Cycle Day
D&C - Dilation and Curettage
DH - Dear Husband
DPO - Days Past Ovulation
EDD - Estimated Due Date
HCG - Human Chorionic Gonadotropin
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
HSC - Hysteroscopy
HSG - Hysterosalpingogram
IC - Incompetent Cervix
IRL - In real life (not online)
LAP - Laparoscopy
LMP - Last Menstrual Period
MA - Müllerian Anomaly
M/C - Miscarriage
PMS - Premenstrual Syndrome
PNV - Prenatal Vitamin
POAS - Pee on a Stick
PTL - Preterm Labor
RE - Reproductive Endocrinologist
TMI - Too Much Information
TTC - Trying to Conceive
U/S - Ultrasound
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3 comments:
ugh, my friend could've written this. she has already found a doc that is willing to do a vbac for when she is ready for a 2nd.
i'm sorry you are irritated. you are allowed.
can't wait to read more about the birth.
I COMPLETELY understand. I am very sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted; it IS a big deal. But I'll be interested to hear your story, and Baby Lily is beautiful.
Aww, I totally understand. While as your sister I'm RELIEVED that you both came through the birth successfully, I'm sad for you that it went the way it did and for the implications that it has for the future.
BTW, I found out that my midwife practice does VBACs.
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