Wednesday, June 24, 2009

1 Year and 1 Day

I forgot to post yesterday, but it has now been one year since one of my favorite ultrasound experiences ever, despite the discomfort and um, well, you know... immodesty. Yes, I'm talking about my hysterosonogram, the saline ultrasound performed by the magnificent Dr. M (maybe I should refer to him as Dr. Magnificent?) which finally, definitively diagnosed my crazy uterus as septate.

I think those five days, starting with the Monday I had the ultrasound and concluding with the surgery the following Friday were some of my most joyous of 2008. Throughout my entire fertility journey of 2008, this was one string of happy days that had nothing to do with miscarriage or TTC. It was filled with pure hope. I had a fixable problem and my childbearing years would not be condemned to more problems or, worse, futility.

It's hard to believe an entire year has gone by. A lot has changed in the last year, but from a fertility standpoint I still feel a bit stagnant. And I'm already 26 years old. I find myself disbelieving I'm so old--I know it's not very old, but I first got pregnant when I was 24, and I should have had a baby in the first half of my 26th year. Now I'll consider myself lucky if I have a baby by the time I turn 27. I used to think I'd be on the young side as a first time mom, but that is just no longer true; I shall be merely average. Ever since I turned 21 I've stopped wishing I were older, but I didn't realize that my desire to stay the same age for a while would hit the fast forward button on these years.

So, what gives, Science? Why haven't you yet found a way to slow down time?

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Hm

Nope, no news here.